Who can teach empathy?

Empathy - a definition: "a fearless exploration of another's inner world, a sensing of meanings unknown....wholly accepting of that world." - Janet Tolan, pg 18, Skills in person-centred counselling and psychotherapy.

A sub-title for this blog could have been, "how do we learn empathy?" Certainly not an inborn trait and if it is we have to learn/re-learn it in our training as social workers.

Every now and then I babysit my niece and nephew - a pigeon pair according to my mother - that is a brother and sister who are 18 months apart in age. Little boy is just starting to string words together but little girl does come up with some gems. How can you not react empathically when after supper and some telly and a bedtime story and the final goodnight and the lights off and the door closed just so, out pops, "I love my mommy, I really miss her." And that look comes into her eyes that tells me that the tears are going to flow. All I am able to come out with is "Your mom is really special." Tears no longer but a smile and satisfied look in her face that tells me she knows somebody else shares her opinion about the special place her mom has in her heart.

There is nothing like a 4 year old to express her feelings in such a way to let you actually feel what it must be like to miss your mom while she is out and one of her uncles is seeing to bedtime routines.

Children as teachers - indeed!